Fine Lines between Fact and Rumors: A Jealous Heart

          My Ex and I are still officially broken up. We've had plenty of texting convos, and phone calls that either end in fights...or tears.

About a week ago we got into a lil spat because he found out I was sorta seeing a close friend of mine. Really I'd just use him as arm candy, since the ex is over 100 miles away and I only see him about once a month...maybe. The rest of my friends have all split off in pairs...and then theres me. Head over heels in love with someone i barely see. So anyways, he finally admitted that he was upset because he just didn't want to see me with someone else.

I was thrilled. Thought we're turning over a new leaf. Maybe we can actually work threw our issues and for once make it work....we all know the inevitable. Its just the process of getting there.

And then I find out hes bringing "a friend" to his frats formal.

In his defense...he came to this conclusion a week before the dance. But still I was hurt.
He swore over and over that they were just friends, that nothing would happen. However I've been to a formal...your in a hotel room with 4 couples...and 4 beds. This is why I was hurt and upset.

So come Saturday I went out with my friends and celebrated Cinco de Mayo the only way we know how....with too much alcohol. I ended up hooking with the friend mentioned above. I felt terrible. But I felt wronged and betrayed...yet again.

But then the following day came around and I found out that the Ex also hooked up with his date.
But he still wants to see me when he gets home...he wants to work on things.

Am I wrong for not feeling the same anymore?
We haven't changed.
I miss him.
I love him.
I know hes my future.
But right now theres just so much growing the both of us need to accomplish before we can actually get there.

And then maybe we'll reallize this was all just young love...with nowhere to go.

The 100 Day Rule

Anyone familiar with this? No? Good you shouldnt be.

But basically this rule is religious based, something about jesus haveing something happen within 100 days, idk.
So my cousins have lived on this rule when finding a future husband...

Why?

How can you honestly say you know someone within 100 days? You dont.

Ive been off and on with the same guy for 4 years. I know him. We hit our bumps, but I know hes my future. We get eachother. We understand eachother. We take care if eachother. He can read my mind, he takes care of me. But thats 4 years. Ill have a ring on my finger at 5.

My grandparent have poopoo'd my future with this man whos gearing up to attend law school in a year. But absolutely love my cuzins husband who quit his job as a barista at starbucks, to make his own brand of diapers in his basement....

silly me for wanting a solid future, minus the worries over money. What was I thinking?!

Im not sure my other cousins fiance does, ive never met him. Ive seen pictures and hes a spitting image of my uncle, and has future fatty written alllllll over him.

My male cousins are a whole different story.

One is 23 years old, use to be an abercrombie model. Now hes chubby getting chubbier, his hair is turning grey, and hasnt had a gf in 3 years....im pretty sure hes had a few bfs tho.

I hold out hope for his brother tho. Hes was with the same girl for 2 years, he recently broke up with her. Claims he was getting bored. I think she was getting to close with his mom....however she was a ginger therefor has no soul so they were destined to be buds.