Being Someones Secret

      Nobody is as innocent as they would like to believe. We all have our dirty little secrets that we don't want anyone to know, that we ourselves would rather just forget. But how do you cope with being that secret?
      I've given the boyfriend a second chance, even after probably one of the bigger mistakes someone could make. I've forgiven him and moved past it. At the moment when we discussed getting back together I convinced myself I could in fact look past that mistake as long as I was with him.
     But that mistake has led to this point in time. My friends can know that we are together, But a good majority of his can't, in fear that a certain someone would find out and make the resy of his life a living hell. As I am in the midst of dealing with this, I'm not happy being that secret. It took years, many mistakes, and countless arguments to get back here, to get back to him, I want to shout it from the rooftops! But instead I'm kept in silence, only being able to share my excitement with a select few. Being in a relationship but at the same time feeling so alone. When we discussed what getting back together was going to entail, I felt my life almost revolving into a movie. I'm a girl, we like the occasional drama, I was almost excited to be that selected one to keep such a secret. But now it disgusts me. I know this is not the case, but it almost makes me feel like he might be ashamed of me. That dating me is in fact that bad, and he can't tell anyone. But it's not the case. I'm his date to every fraternity function, party, dinner, or movie date....but I'm just that, I'm the "date", or "friend from back home". Never the Girlfriend.
       I think that's what bothers me the most, that I am never introduced as the girlfriend. That simple word shouldn'd mean anything, however in this moment of time I long to hear it. Just one simple word, to be introduced as the girlfriend, and have him take pride in it. Not hide me.
      Anytime I try to bring it up it never turns into an argument, just a quick change of subject or the constant reallization that you know what you got yourself into, and then me stepping away from the situation for a few hours or a few days to come to grips that if I want to be with him, I have to get over this little roadbump.
       But truth be told, No one deserves to be someones secret. You should be proud of the person you are with. You should never allow someone to come between you, or put fear in you for being happy with the person you're in love with.

THAT GIRL